Thursday, November 20, 2008

Ain't nothin' "cute" 'bout Bar-B-Cutie

Joltin' Django has been a little - nay, a lot - under the weather this week. For two days I didn't eat nothin'. Yeah, I've been that sick.

Fully aware that I'd not had a lot to eat, my mother graciously offered to bring me some chopped pork from Bar-B-Cutie® ce soir. Since my body was famished to the point that I was ready to eat the south end of a north-bound skunk, I told her to bring on the Cutie's 'que. She brought it ... and now I wish she could take it back.

I'll bet I haven't eaten Bar-B-Cutie®'s barbeque ten times in my life. Prior to tonight, the last time I'd dined on the Cutie's 'que was when I last worked in the trucking b'iness (ten years ago). I was never a big fan of the Cutie's 'que, and I'm even less, "less" with a capital "L," of a fan now.

I'm going to be brutally honest: I don't know what kept me from choking to death whilst eating the sandwich you see in the above picture. Even after drowning the meat in BBQ sauce, I felt like I was trying to swallow shredded newspaper. If the meat'd not had small bits of smoked skin, I would've sworn that I was eating Whitt's dreadfully dry bar-b-crap. (Whitt's is just all gray meat and gristle.)

My fellow Nashvillians can be thanked, MANY times over, for makin' "hot chicken" and "meat-'N'-three" household terms. What they can't be thanked for is the fact that they've frequented Bar-B-Cutie® and Whitt's to the point that, well, many folks in Middle Tennessee think those two culinary cathedrals of craptacular 'que are what smoked pork is all about.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in a nutshell, is this: Bar-B-Cutie® SUCKS!

Now, never let it be said that Joltin' Django can't find a positive whenever he's being very negative ...

Bar-B-Cutie®'s "mild" sauce is pretty tasty. Now, everyone knows that I hate BBQ sauces that are too sweet. B-B-C's "mild" sauce ain't sweet, and it ain't all that mild. It has just enough kick to make it a sauce that I'd be proud to pour over over a pile of dry 'que, indeed.

If only the Cutie could make its meat as flavorful as its sauce. Wishfully-thinking ...!


brian stanley said...

You want to get sued don't you?

Joltin' Django said...

"You want to get sued don't you?"

When it comes to food, I call it like I eat it.

If I gathered up ten people and did a blind taste test featuring small piles of of freshly cooked 'que from Whitt's, Bar-B-Cutie, and, say, Pop's, Mary's, and Hog Heaven ... I guaran-damn-tee you that neither Whitt's nor Bar-B-Cutie would be at the top of any participant's list.

So there.

Anonymous said...

bar b cutie on nolensville road is pretty good. maybe you went to the bad one.