How much do I love hot sauce? Let me count the ways ...

Sometime last November or December, a co-worker asked me how much Tabasco sauce I consumed in a year. You see, I'd taken something for lunch which required a good dousing of Tabasco (probably meatloaf), and I was toting a 12-ounce bottle of Tabasco with which I was gonna do me some dousing.

I'd never really thought about how much Tabasco I consumed in a year. According to certain close friends and members of my immediate family, I ate a lot. So that's how I responded to my co-worker: "A lot," I says.

The more I thought about how much hot sauce I put 'tween my lips, the more curious I became. So, on January 12, I cracked the seal on a new 12-ounce bottle of Tabasco and made a note on my pocket PC. Throughout the rest of the year, I made a note every time I purchased a new bottle of Tabasco. On December 23, I busted open my last bottle of the year ... number 14. Here 'tis:



By my measure, I've filled my belly with about 170 ounces of Tabasco since January 12. That figure includes Tabasco from bottles I've purchased and bottles from which I've carpet-bombed my food in restaurants.

Anyone who thinks that I consume a lot of Tabasco should also condider this: I've also emptied 3-4 34-ounce bottles of Valentina Salsa Picante, a half-dozen 32-ounce bottles of Texas Pete (Mr. Jimmy helped me empty at least 2 of 'em), 2 28-ounce bottles of Sriacha, and at least - at least - a dozen 12-ounce bottles of Trappey's Bull Louisiana Hot Sauce over the past 12 months.

Yeah, I guess you could say I like hot sauce.