Saturday, October 25, 2008

You got some nerve callin' yourself "Gentleman"


I ain't one for bourbon whiskey. I prefer Tennessee whiskey, specifically George Dickel. Not only do the folks at the Dickel distillery turn out one über-smooth spirit, they use the traditional Scottish spelling of "whisky" on their bottles. The Scots-Irish half of me likes that a great deal.

That said, I had a couple of buds over tonight to watch us some college football. One of my buds brought an unopened bottle of Kentucky Gentleman bourbon, which'd been left at his house after a recent party.

None of us had ever had Kentucky Gentleman before. Upon cracking the seal, I poured about two ounces into three highball glasses. Then it was bottoms up. Five seconds later we all came to the collective conclusion that KG is the worst bourbon whiskey to ever grace God's green earth.

Wanna know what it's like to drink whiskey that tastes like it's been laced with chalk? Then round up $7.99 and get yourself a 750 ML bottle of Kentucky Gentleman at your local liquor store. You won't be glad you did.

Deeeeeeep ...


I ran across a cool foodie blog, What Geeks Eat, which is edited by a young lady named Vanessa. One of her more intriguing posts features a recipe for homemade deep dish pizza, which she makes with my favorite kitchen tool: a cast-iron skillet. Here's what she says 'bout it:

Today I happily bring you a favorite of Chicagoans everywhere. I suggest you bake one up for your election night dinner ... it is easy, absolutely delicious, and satisfying ... that way even if your candidate loses you’ll still find some satisfaction in a good meal. I blogged about this recipe earlier this year when I was guest blogging at Accidental Hedonist and because I’ve improved the recipe and because it is such an easy meal to make I thought I would show it off again. I’ve had authentic Chicago pizza at Pizzeria Uno and Gino’s and I think my pizza has better flavor and texture. I recommend using a instant read thermometer to take a reading on the crust; it should be at 210° and there is more than enough space to jab the probe into the side crust to get a reading ... I’ve never been disappointed using this technique.

Here's her recipe:

Chicago style deep-dish pizza

Dough

3/4 cup of water
1/4 cup of olive oil
2 teaspoons kosher salt
2 1/4 teaspoons yeast
1 tablespoon of honey
1/4 cup of cornmeal
1 cup of white whole wheat flour
1 + cups of all-purpose white flour

Toppings and sauce

1/2 pound of bulk Italian sausage
1 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes
1/2 lb. grated mozzarella
Italian seasoning, minced garlic, salt, pepper

[Directions]

Put the first 7 dough ingredients in a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on medium speed for 2 minutes. Reduce the speed and gradually add the 1+ cups of all purpose flour until the dough clears the side of the bowl. Stop the mixer and replace the paddle attachment with a dough hook. Mix with the dough hook for 5 minutes or so, gradually adding flour until the dough comes to a consistency where it barely sticks to your fingers for just a moment and then it releases.

Put the dough in bowl greased with olive oil, cover with plastic wrap and let it rise in the refrigerator overnight, or even for 3 or 4 days (my longer storage method involves a plastic bag rather than a bowl).

Pull the dough from the refrigerator and smoosh it out into a thick round circle. Drape it over a well oiled cast iron skillet and nudge it about until it rests on the bottom and against the sides with no gaps or tightness. The edges will need a trim so roll a rolling pin across the top of the pan to sever the dough exactly at the top. Let it rise while you prepare the sausage, cheese, and sauce. Preheat the oven to 375°.

Shape the Italian sausage into loose, little nuggets about 1″ in diameter, and brown them in a skillet over medium heat. Season the crushed tomatoes with a pinch of Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, and minced garlic.

The first layer of the pizza is the grated mozzarella, followed by the sausage, followed by the sauce. I usually cover the crust with a foil tent to keep it from becoming burnt. Bake in a preheated 375°it for 25-30 minutes or until the side crust reaches a temperature of 210°.

Let it cool a bit, slice into wedges and eat.


Ms. Vanessa talks about early-voting in her post. Let's just hope she voted the "right" way ...!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Sushi Nazis

Today's Wall Street Journal has a lengthy article about a new breed of sushi chefs: Sushi Nazis. Sushi Nazis dictate who eats what, refuse simple requests, and often throw people who don't order or eat right out of their restaurants. Sound familiar?

If you're seated at the sushi bar at Sasabune in New York, Sushi Nozawa in Los Angeles, or Sawa Sushi in Sunnyvale, Calif., a few words of advice: Don't try to order -- the chef will decide what you eat. Use extra soy sauce at your own risk. And don't ask for a California roll. You might get kicked out.

You have entered the domain of the sushi bullies -- top sushi chefs who serve only what they want, how they want it and to whom they want. Their rules are often posted on signs throughout their restaurants. Some chefs are notorious for ejecting patrons who annoy them.

Geri-Ayn Gaul had her first encounter with a raw-fish autocrat in August at Ino, in San Francisco. First, she tried to add some soy sauce to her seaweed salad. Big mistake. Chef Noboru Inoue scolded her, she says, telling her, "No, no, no. No soy sauce!" Then, she had the temerity to scrape some wasabi off a piece of sushi, because she doesn't like spicy food. The chef's response, she says: "'No. It needs the wasabi.'" She obeyed, and choked down the fish.

"I was so nervous, I spilled my miso soup," says Ms. Gaul, whose meal for two, with no alcohol, cost $75 -- before tip.


Read the rest here.

Lemme tell you something: If I'm ever in the middle of a $75 meal and I get "scolded" for eating what I'm eating, or how I want to eat it, somebody's gonna get as ass-whipping. And it ain't gonna be me.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Ancient Donelsonian secret

My favorite side dish has always been, and I imagine always will be, green beans -- especially well-seasoned green beans. My grandmother made the best green beans, which she seasoned with salt pork and onions, and holy hell I miss eatin' 'em. In fact, my stomach starts rumblin' just thinkin' about Granny Ruby's green beans.

Whenever I would go to my grandparents' house to eat, I'd start picking at the green beans before they'd even been ladled into a serving bowl. And woe unto anyone who didn't scoop some green beans onto his or her plate when we sat down to eat. Once I'd started into 'em, it didn't take long before they were all gone.

It takes time to cook good green beans. If my grandmother was using fresh beans, she'd put 'em in a pressure cooker and cook the you-know-what out of 'em for a couple of hours. Canned green beans didn't take quite as long, but they weren't just poured into a pan and heated through. She would let them simmer until most of the water was cooked away -- which is the secret to making really good green beans. Indeed, if you're not patient enough to let 'em simmer, simmer, simmer (as Justin Wilson was wont to say), then you might as well just eat 'em out of the can.

All that said, one of my mother's friends recently showed me how to cook tasty green beans without having to wait two hours for said beans to soak up the flavor of a big hunk of pork.

Here's what you'll need:


That is a box of Goya Sabor A Jamón de Cocinar (ham-flavored concentrate), which you can find at Wal-Mart, Kroger, Publix and Food Lion. There are 8 packages of concentrate per box, each of which equals the flavor of 1/4 lb of smoked ham.

Now, here's what you do for "quick" green beans:

Drain the canning water from a 1.5 lb can of Allen's green beans. Put the beans in a pan with just enough water to cover. Pour in one package of Goya ham seasoning and several twists of fresh black pepper. Cover pan and bring just to a boil. Lower heat to medium and cock lid so steam can escape. Cook 25 minutes, or until most of the water is gone. Remove from heat and stir. Re-cover and let rest for 10 minutes before serving. Serve with meatloaf, fried chicken, pot roast, pork chops, steak, country ham ...

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Buh-bye


MillerCoors LLC announced Monday that it will discontinue the clear malt beverage Zima ... because of "challenging malternative segment sales and declining consumer interest." -- St. Louis Business Journal

Remember the clear beverage craze of the early and mid-90s? From that craze emerged an alcoholic beverage named Zima.

Zima never appealed to anyone who didn't have a vagina or who'd never donned a jock whist engaging in a sanctioned sporting endeavor. Indeed, Zima was not a beverage for a man needin' to eat. It was sweet and clear and it tasted like a Sprite that'd had a cheep beer poured into it.

Buh-bye, Zima. You will not be missed.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Takin' care of business

Joltin' Django is out of town. A Man's Gotta Eat will return Wednesday, October 22.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Beef stew: Good for me, and good for you!


Beef stew is fast becoming one of my specialties. Here's how I made a batch ce soir:

Joltin' Django's Beef Stew

Ingredients

2 lbs beef stew meat
2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 medium white onion, large-diced
4 large carrots, peeled and diced
4 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 4-ounce jar Green Giant mushrooms (sliced or whole)
2 tablespoons Cavender's Greek Seasoning
1 teaspoon Zatarain's cayenne pepper
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and pepper

Directions

Cut stew meat into 1/4-inch cubes. Season with salt and pepper. Heat a heavy pot to medium. Brown meat in olive oil, in two batches, and allow to drain on paper towels. Add flour to oil and juices and stir for 8-10 minutes to make a dark roux.

Add garlic, onion, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, Greek seasoning and cayenne to pot. Stir well. Return meat to pot and just cover all ingredients with water. Bring to a boil and lower heat to a slow, slow simmer. Cook for 90 minutes. Add additional salt and pepper, if needed, before serving.

Recommended hot sauce for this dish: Regular or green Tabasco®.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Man, that is a lot of barbeque!


Today was my church's annual Fall Festival. I was there just long enough to get a BBQ plate and a chess pie. The 'que was pretty darn good (a fellow church member owns a catering biz took care of the meat), and the chess pie, which was baked by a lady named Opal, was real good. Indeed, I don't any little old lady named Opal could bake a pie that was anything but good.

What you see in the pic above is a big pile of smoked pork, some baked beans and slaw. I got it for five bucks. For ten bucks, total, I got enough for tonight's dinner and lunch tomorrow, plus four or five chess pie snacks over the next couple of days. Not too bad, huh?!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Beatin' the World's Biggest Burger

Brad Sciullo is my new hero ...


From Slashfood:

"The Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser is so big that it looks like it might eat Brad Sciullo. Nonetheless the 21-year-old chef from Uniontown, Pa., took down the 15-pound burger along with 5 pounds of toppings in four hours and 39 minutes. For his efforts the 5-foot-11, 180-pound received $400, three T-shirts, a certificate and what the owner of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub calls 'a burger hangover.'

"Sciullo is the first person to ever successfully eat this outlandishly huge burger within the 5-hour time limit. The colossal cheeseburger was dressed with lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish."

I like me a big ol' hamburger. I love me a big ol' hamburger with luttuce, tomatoes, onions, peppers, mayo, mustard, cheese and ketchup. I would've very much enjoyed helping Mr. Sciullo eat his 15-lb burger. But he didn't need my help, did he?

Again, the skinny sombitch known as Brad Sciullo is my new hero!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Ron's, BFD (Back From the Dead)

Melissa writes:

Okay since I found your blog because of Ron’s and you share the same love for it, I had to share this with you. I googled trying to find Ron’s last name to contact him and found a website for the old Ron’s. I emailed them in hopes the site was still active and it was. Tangla emailed me back and said that their lease was expiring and the landlord raised the rent so they went looking. They just signed a lease for a place at 5359 Mt. View Road in the Kroger shopping center (I think this is the old Chinese buffet location probably). They couldn’t advertise the details until the deal was sealed but they hope to be open in a couple of weeks. They will have more room, a private dining area and I think what she’s most excited about, a REAL kitchen separate from the rest of the restaurant. She will send me more information as soon as they have the grand opening date set.

Melissa knows exactly what she's talking 'bout. I drove through the Hickory Hollow Kroger's parking lot today and I can confirm that Ron is preparin' a store in which his patented quality soul food will soon be served.

I'll have pics and things to say as soon as Ron opens back up. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

'Tis one super smoke


Somehow - I don't remember how - an Avo No 1 Lonsdale cigar made its way into my humidor. I smoked the sombitch today, and all I can say is: What a wonderful cigar!

First thing I noticed about my Avo No 1 was its construction. Indeed, a 1-inch ash formed before I had "tap" my cigar.

Second thing I noticed about my Avo was the fact that it was an incredibly mild smoke. It had subtle hints of pepper and cinnamon, and as soon as I had to discard the "stub," I was already pining for another one.

Like cigars? Get you an Avo. You'll be glad you did, indeed.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Joltin' Django rubs you the right way (pun firmly intended)


Yesterday, I told you about my scalloped potatoes. Today, I'm gonna tell you about the pork loin I cooked alongside my taters.

I clipped a recipe for a BBQ rub from the local paper several weeks back. I didn't use it right away because I thought it had too much sugar in it. So I tweaked it a bit and tried it for the first time last night. Here 'tis:

Joltin' Django's Spicy BBQ Rub

1 cup sweet paprika
1 cup hot paprika
1/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup onion powder
1/4 cup onion powder
2 tablespoons cayenne pepper

I mixed all those ingredients up really well, and then I liberally coated all sides of my 2.5-pound pork loin. I let the pork loin rest in the refrigerator for about 2 hours before shoving it into a 350-degree oven. It cooked for about 50 minutes, and rested another 10 minutes, before I cut into it. Damn, son, that was one of the juiciest and most flavorful hunks of pork I've ever eaten in my life. And, as my grandfather used to say, that ain't no ****, either.

One thing you need to know about that rub: If you put it in an airtight container, it will keep for about six months. So if you have some left over, and you will, you can use it again (and again).

Monday, October 13, 2008

Pommes de terre crantées


I recently spied Edna Lewis' The Taste of Country cookbook in a used bookstore. The quote on the cover -- "She evokes the tantalizing aromas of a farm kitchen. She brings back the fresh, natural tastes of the wonderful cooking she was raised on in Virginia. She shares old family recipes in menus that make the most of each season's bounty" -- piqued my interest; the recipes and asides in the book itself ('bout country ham and fresh berries and Christmas meals) made me say, "Damn, I'm buyin' this book!"

I tried my first recipe from The Taste of Country Cooking tonight: Scalloped Potatoes. Man, they were good! Here's the recipe, straight from the book:

Edna Lewis' Scalloped Potatoes (serves 8)

Ingredients

2 lbs white potatoes
1/2 cup butter
1 pint whole milk
Freshly ground black pepper
Salt

Directions

Peel and slice raw potatoes thin. Layer them in the [2-quart casserole, buttered]. Sprinkle each layer with pepper and salt, and dot over with butter. Repeat the process until casserole is filled. Arrange the top layer in a circle or rectangle design according to the design of the dish. Pour in enough milk to reach just under the top layer of potatoes. Dot the top liberally with butter and set in center of an oven preheated to 350 degrees. Bake for 60 minutes. When finished, the top should have a nice crusty top.


Note: The casserole may be rubbed with garlic if desired. Also, the layers of potatoes may be sprinkled with finely chopped garlic.

Just so you know ... I added onions and rubbed my pan with garlic. You knew that already, though, didn't you?!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Peaux de porc!


During the 1988 presidential campaign, Vice President George H.W. Bush admitted in an interview that he loved to snack on fried pork skins.  He immediately received criticism from two distinct groups of hand-wringers: those who said the patrician Bush was simply trying to appeal to rural and suburban rubes by pretending to like pork skins, and those who said a sitting Vice President shouldn't be encouraging anyone - rubes included - to eat anything as unhealthy as pork skins.
 
Since the mini-imbroglio over George H.W. Bush's eating habits is old, old news, I ain't gonna dwell on it.  All I'll say is this:  
 
Bush made his fortune in Texas' oilfields, so it's not inconceivable that he acquired a taste for something that's sold in practically every market in the south, not to mention in a lot of BBQ joints (more about that in a second).  And, Bush didn't tell anyone to eat pork skins, he just said he liked 'em.  Indeed, I don't recall any mass runs on pork skins after the Vice President of the U.S. supposedly inferred that everyone should go out and get some.
 
That said, I, too, like pork skins.  Even though I was a young pup - young rube? - when Bush 41 stated his affinity for the tasty little things, I remember thinking, "This is my kind of guy!" 
 
I'll be the first to admit that pork skins don't have a lot of nutritional value; but if you're not eating bags of 'em each day, while sitting on the couch, there ain't nothing wrong with enjoying the little salty, fatty buggers from time to time.   I know it's hard concept for a lot of people to grasp, but if über-moderation is your guiding principle vis-à-vis putting things in your body, you can pretty much eat or drink anything.  
 
[Sidebar: I'm reminded of a little episode from my high school days.  I had a part-time job as a gopher at a truck, tractor and trailer dealership when I was in 11th and 12th grade.  I worked my ass off in that job. One day, I delivered and fetched parts all over town, and I didn't stop for lunch.  I stopped at a convenience store and picked up a bag of pork skins and a bottle of Gatorade.  I was sitting in the break room enjoying my "lunch" when a co-worker came in, cigarette in hand.  She bought a candy bar and a Coke or Pepsi or something.  When she saw what I was eating, she exclaimed, "Ew!  Those things are bad for you!"  True story.]
 
You get the best pork skins in barbeque joints that fry their own.  In fact, there are few treats in this world better than a freshly fried pork skin that still has some meat on it.  (In Nashville, you can get some mighty fine pork skins at Neely's BBQ near MetroCenter.) As far as bagged pork skins are concerned, Papa Brim's are the best.

Now, I've never been too keen on the puffed-air pork skins that every potato chip manufacturer under the sun turns out, and which you can find at practically any grocery store in the U.S.A. Every time I've ever seen them things in a market or grocery store I've said under my breath, "Those aren't pork skins! They're just puffed pieced of pork-flavored who-knows-what!"

Today, however, I decided to take a chance on a package of Golden Flake's puffed-up pork skins because, well, the packaging featured a bottle of Bruce Food's Louisiana hot sauce. The texture didn't do much for me (they more air than skin), but damn did those pork skins taste good ... good and hot! They almost - almost - made me forget about how much I like honest-to-God pork skins. And I ain't just blowin' smoke by saying that, neither.

One of these times when I'm looking for a hot snack, I will be gettin' me another bag of Golden Flake pork skins. Try some sometime. You'll be glad you did!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Culinary cartoon of the day

From today's Wall Street Journal (a little bit apropos in Joltin' Django's case, n'est-ce pas?):

Thursday, October 09, 2008

Soup is good food



Earlier this year, I posted my personal recipe for chicken soup. I decided to make a batch tonight. I was about three-quarters finished when I discovered that I didn't have any egg noodles. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head: Put some spaghetti noodles in it and it'll be just like Campbell's chicken noodle soup, only homemade and ten times better. And that's just what I did!

Here's my recipe if you missed it the first time:

Joltin' Django's Chicken Soup

Ingredients

2 whole chickens
7 carrots
1 package of celery (with plenty of leaves)
2 large white onions
5 cloves of garlic
Kosher salt
Black pepper
Dried thyme
Egg Noodles

Directions

Peel three carrots and cut 'em in half
Pick out three stalks of celery that have a lot of leaves on 'em
Quarter one onion
Peel garlic cloves
Rinse chickens in cold water and pat dry


Throw chickens, carrots, celery, onion and garlic in a large stock pot and cover with water
Dump in, oh, a tablespoon of salt and an equal amount of black pepper


Bring chickens and stock vegetables to a boil
Lower heat to slow simmer and cook for 2 hours
(Note: My large stock pot didn't cost very much. Thus, it has a very thin bottom. Since I don't have a heat-diffuser, I slowly bring my chickens and vegetables up to a boil - while constantly stirring - so's nothing sticks to the bottom of the pot.)

Remove chickens to a platter or shallow baking dish
Strain stock into smaller stock pot
(Note: Now, some limp-wristed chefs will tell you to skim off the little droplets of fat that rise to the surface of chicken stock. Hell, I've even heard some TV chefs say that stock should be put in the refrigerator for several hours so all of the fat can congeal at the top and be removed. As Anthony Bourdain once said, most of the flavor in a stock is concentrated in those little droplets of fat; and only a fool would remove such from a homemade stock.)

Discard boiled vegetables
Remove skin from chickens and debone; hand-pull into large chunks
Dice remaining carrots and remaining onion
Dice three large stalks of celery
Place chicken and vegetables in stock
Throw in a tablespoon of thyme and more salt if needed
Bring soup to medium simmer and cook for 10 minutes
Remove soup from burner and throw in 2 cups of egg noodles
Cover and let stand for 10 minutes, or until egg noodles are soft

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Zee-tee (good for you, and good for me!)

In response to my Godfather-Italian cookin' post, Geneva R sends us this recipe for stovetop ziti (I can't wait to try it) ...

Geneva's Stovetop Ziti

Ingredients

1 tablespoon olive oil
6 garlic cloves, minced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
salt & fresh ground pepper
1 (28 ounce) can crushed tomatoes
3 cups water
12 ounces ziti pasta (3 3/4 cups)
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 cup fresh basil leaf, minced
1 cup mozzarella cheese, shredded

Directions

Adjust oven rack to middle position and preheat oven to 475.

Combine oil, garlic, pepper flakes, and 1/2 teaspoon salt in 12-inch ovensafe nonstick skillet and saute over medium-high heat until fragrant, about 1 minute. (If your skillet is not ovensafe, transfer the pasta mixture into a shallow 2-quart casserole dish before sprinkling with the cheese and baking).

Add crushed tomatoes, water, ziti and 1/2 teaspoon salt.

Cover and cook, stirring often and adjusting heat as needed to maintain vigorous simmer, until ziti is almost tender, 15-18 minutes.

Stir in cream, Parmesan, and basil. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Sprinkle mozzarella evenly over ziti. Transfer skillet to oven and bake until cheese has melted and browned, about 10 minutes. Serve.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Cazuela de pollo Mexicana


Some ten years ago, my Mom received from a friend a recipe for Mexican Chicken Casserole. She passed the recipe along to me, and it quickly became one of my favorite casseroles of all time.

The first thing you'll notice about Mexican Chicken Casserole is ... there ain't nothing Mexican about it. I've been to Mexico a couple of times, and I don't recall ever eating anything there that featured a can of condensed soup as a major ingredient. (I don't recall eating any cheese-clogged dishes south of the border either, but that's a story for another day.) But so what? The dish could've been christened "Gristle Chicken Casserole" by its concocter, if you will, and it would still taste damn good to me.

It takes about 15 minutes to put the following casserole together, and it goes from notion to noshing in about an hour and a half. I've made this for friends, family and co-workers, and I've NEVER had to dispose of left-overs. That's a pretty good testimonial, if you ask me.

Mexican Chicken Casserole

Ingredients

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1 medium white onion, chopped
1 can RO*TEL® tomatoes (I prefer extra hot)
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 can cream of chicken soup
4-6 cups shredded cheddar cheese
4 cups crushed Doritos Nacho Cheese® chips, crushed
Kosher salt and fresh-cracked black pepper

Directions

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Place chicken in shallow, aluminum foil-lined baking dish Season with salt and pepper. Bake for 45-50 minutes.

Remove chicken from baking dish. Shred and set aside. Discard aluminum foil.

Mix soups and RO*TEL® in a small bowl. Place shredded chicken and onions in baking dish. Cover with soup/RO*TEL® mixture. Top with cheese and chips, and bake for 20-25 minutes.

Let casserole rest for 10 minutes before serving. Serve with green peas or green beans (and a lot of Tabasco®.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Number One bread-making machine

A former lady friend gave me a big, fancy rice cooker for Christmas a few years back. It's such a pain in the ass to use, I've only made use of it two times.

I've seriously considered turning my rice cooker over to ma mère so's she or a neighbor can get rid of it in a yard sale. I ain't gonna get rid of my cooker, however, until I've tried this (HT: Slashfood):

Sunday, October 05, 2008

"Food and drinking are prolific throughout the movie ..."

Yesterday, I made an appearance at a mercifully short wedding before I made a quick-change and headed downtown for the Vanderbilt-Auburn game (Yeah, Vandy!). After the wedding, I was talking to the brother of the bridegroom about weddings in general when the opening scene from The Godfather (a wedding scene) entered the conversation.

The bridegroom's bro spent the next 15 minutes trading "Remember when ...?" Godfather riffs. As soon as I mentioned the scene in which Al Pacino's character gets schooled 'bout how to cook for "twenty guys," he informed me - rather authoritatively, in fact - that there were 40 scenes in the Godfather in which people were either eating or discussing food.

Intrigued by the bridegroom's bro's assertion, I did some research today. Seems he was off by about 20 scenes. There were 40 eating/drinking scenes alright ... plus twenty more. According to the Internet Movie Data Base:

"Food and drinking are prolific throughout the movie. There are approximately 61 scenes or shots with people eating, drinking, or with food featured.

So there!

Now, while I'm on the subject of the Godfather, and while we're discussing food, I want to tell you about my favorite scene from said movie ...

The Corleone family has gone to the mattresses after an attempt on the Godfather's (Marlon Brando) life. Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) is still a civilian at this point, and he enters the family kitchen to take a phone call from his girlfriend. When he hangs up, he gets schooled on how to cook tomato sauce, er, gravy by Clemenza, one of his family's hoods. Here're Clemenza's instructions:

"[Y]ou start out with a little bit of oil. Then you fry some garlic. Then you throw in some [canned whole]tomatoes, tomato paste. You fry it and you make sure it doesn't stick. You get it to a boil and you shove in all your sausage and your meatballs. Add a little bit o' wine. And a little bit o' sugar, and that's my trick."

Try that sometime and you'll have one fine tomato gravy. I know, 'cause I've tried it. That said, here's why that scene is my favorite scene from the movie ...

If you listen to Francis Ford Coppola's commentary on the Godfather DVD, during the making-tomato-gravy scene he admits that the original script called for Clemenza to say, "Then you brown some garlic." Mario Puzo, who penned the novel upon which the movie was based, stepped in and said, "Gangsters don't 'brown.'" So, the script was changed to be more gangster -- and for the better if you ask me.

All of a sudden, I'm in the mood for some penne, sausages, and homemade tomato gravy!

Friday, October 03, 2008

Sunday dinner for Italians

According to Pat DiNizio -- who's perhaps my favorite singer-songwriter of all time -- this is how Sunday dinner went down (no pun intended) in an Italian household:

Italians have a $40,000.00 kitchen, but use the $259 stove from Sears in the basement to cook.

There is always some sort of religious statue in the hallway, living room, bedroom, front porch and backyard.

The living room is filled with old wedding favors with poofy net bows and stale almonds (they are too pretty to open).

A portrait of the Pope and Frank Sinatra in the dining room.

God forbid if anyone EVER attempted to eat Chef Boyardee, Franco American, Ragu, Prego or anything else in a jar or can (tomato paste is the exception).

Meatballs are made with Pork, Veal, and Beef. We are Italians, we don't care about cholesterol.

Turkey is served on Thanksgiving, AFTER the manicotti, gnocchi, lasagna and soup.

If anyone EVER says ES-CAROLE, slap 'em in the face -- it's SHCAROLE.

If they ever say ITALIAN WEDDING SOUP, let the idiot know that there is no wedding, nor is there an Italian in the soup. Also, the tiny meatballs must be made by hand.

No matter how hard you know you were going to get smacked, you still came home from church after communion, you stuck half a loaf of bread in the sauce (GRAVY in my house) pot, snuck out a fried meatball and chowed down (you'll make up for it next week at confession).

Sunday dinner was at 2:00. The meal went like this ...

Table is set with everyday dishes ... doesn't matter if they don't match ... they're clean, what more do you want?

All the utensils go on the right side of the plate and the napkin goes on the left.

Put a clean kitchen towel at Nonna & Papa's plate because they won't use napkins.

Homemade wine and bottles of 7up are on the table.

First course, Antipasto ... change plates.

Next, Macaroni Nonna called all pasta Macaroni ... change plates.

After that, Roasted Meats, Roasted Potatoes, Over-cooked Vegetables ... change plates.

THEN and only then (NEVER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MEAL) would you eat the salad (HOMEMADE OIL & VINEGAR DRESSING ONLY) ... change plates.

Next, Fruit & Nuts - in the shell (on paper plates because you ran out of the other ones).

Coffee with Anisette (Espresso for Nonna, 'American' coffee for the rest) with hard Cookies to dip in the coffee.

The kids go play ... the men go to lie down.

They slept so soundly you could perform brain surgery on them without anesthesia ... the women clean
the kitchen.

Getting screamed at by Mom or Nonna - half the sentence was English, the other half Italian.

Italian mothers never threw a baseball in their life, but can nail you in the head with a shoe thrown from the kitchen while you're in the living room.

The true Italians will love this, those of you who are married to Italians will understand this, and those of you who are friends with Italians will remember and will forward it to their Italian friends.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

"Ladies, fire up your brew pots ..."


The Los Angeles Times says home-brewing ain't just for the fellers any more:

"It's one of the many home brew competitions that take place around the country each year. There's the panel of certified judges, the international entrants in 28 categories of beer and mead -- and there's the hops-filled afternoon of sipping and scribbling until a winner is crowned.

"But photos on the website for the Queen of Beer's Women's Homebrew competition -- this year's judging takes place Oct. 25 -- hint at the special flavor of the contest held for the last 12 years in Placerville, east of Sacramento. Last year's grand-prize winner glams for the camera in a rhinestone tiara; a few scrolls below, Miss Queen of Beer 2005 models a pink faux-fur crown, a bottle of her winning Russian Imperial stout proudly in hand.

"Ladies, fire up your brew pots and polish those carboys. Your pint glasses are waiting."

Read the rest of it here.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

I like meat and I sure like the neck bone

I've said many times on this blog that my favorite meat is pork. Furthermore, I've published a couple-dozen pictures of pork dishes -- pork roast, pork steaks, pork chops, pork (and beef) meatballs, country-style pork ribs, etc. -- I've cooked, which you can find in the archive. Tonight, I decided to cook a pork something-something that I hadn't cooked in a long time: neck bones.

First, I got me about 5 lbs of neck bones at Compton's Foodland. Five lbs sounds like a lot, I know, but there's a lot of bone in a pork neck bone (in fact, a neck bone is mostly bone). I spread my neck bones out on wax paper and I salted and peppered them really good. Then they went into my Crock-Pot®.

I mixed a cup of Sauer's BBQ sauce, a cup of Howton Farms BBQ sauce, a half-cup of beer (Anchor Steam), and about 2 tablespoons of tomato paste. I poured the mixture over the neck bones and put the Crock-Pot on low.

I didn't touch my neck bones for three hours. When three hours had passed, however, I got me a spoon and I swear I basted 'em for five minutes. I put the lid back on and let the Crock-Pot be for another hour.


At this point, I basted my neck bones again and turned the Crock-Pot to "warm." I let 'em rest for another 20 minutes before I finally scooped one out and put it on a plate.


I'm here to tell you that the meat literally fell off that neck bone. Not only that, but the meat was literally melting in my mouth as well. With eat meat-melting bite, I said to myself, "Neck bones are now near the top of the entrée rotation here at Chez Joltin' Django."

Lemme know when you want to come over and try 'em ...

Andrew Lee RIP

This sure gives Joltin' Django something to think about:

An amateur chef died the day after eating a "superhot" chilli in a bet with his friend over who could make the hottest dish, an inquest heard.

Andrew Lee, 33, suffered heart failure the morning after he ate the chilli.

Toxicology tests are now being carried out to see if the fork lift truck driver suffered a fatal reaction to the dish or whether anything else contributed to his death.

Mr Lee, of Edlington, Doncaster was apparently in perfect health and had just passed a medical at work, the opening of the Doncaster hearing was told.

Cooking was one of his main interests and he went to his girlfriend Samantha Bailey's house to make a chilli.

His father John Lee told the inquest: "He had a bet with Samantha's brother who could make the hottest chilli then went back to her house to stay."

Mother-of-four Miss Bailey called the emergency services to her home nine days ago.

Police officers were called to the house after receiving reports of a man suffering a cardiac arrest and Mr Lee was found lying on the floor.

Paramedics failed to revive him and he was pronounced dead at the scene.

A full post-mortem examination is underway and further inquiries are being carried out.

Deputy Doncaster coroner Fred Curtis granted a burial order and adjourned the inquest for further evidence.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

"It is truly a crappy beer ..."


I was hanging out at my neighbor's house tonight when he asked if I wanted a beer. Naturally, I said "Yes!" I was just a little bit surprised when my neighbor handed me a Yuengling Lager (he usually keeps his frig well-stocked with Sam Adams). I smiled and said "thanks."

I wrote a little something about Yuengling Lager back in January. Here's a little bit of what I had to say:

Yuengling Lager tastes very thin for a lager, and it leaves a God-awful taste in your mouth upon swallowing. With each sip I told [a] friend, "This **** is worse than Budweiser!" He wholeheartedly agreed.

Well, my second time trying Yuengling was definitely not a charm. It is truly a crappy beer. I didn't say that to my neighbor as I slowly sipped the beer he'd given me, as that would be bad manners. When he offered me another, I politely said "No, thanks."

Needless to say, the next time my neighbor offers me a beer I'm gonna ask, "What you got?!"

UPDATE: Eddie, my neighbor, read this post this morning. He immediately left a message on my cell phone in which he admitted that his offering me Yuenglings was an attempt to get rid of the stuff. He bought a six-pack recently and he didn't like it either!

Monday, September 29, 2008

... et la mayonnaise


One of the very first posts here at A Man's Gotta Eat was an homage to Duke's Mayonnaise. Here's what I said:

Most store-bought mayos have a common problem: a tangy, vinegary taste that overwhelms foodstuffs on which or in which they've been placed. Duke's mayo ain't like that. Indeed, Duke's has a rich, creamy flavor with not a hint of "tang"; and Duke's enhances flavors in much the same way as heavy cream enhances sauces. That is, Duke's incorporates into foods, instead of being something that garnishes food.

I have six years of Duke's-eatin' experience under, er, over my belt; and I reckon that I've placed Duke's on many dozens of sandwiches and in dozens of bowls of tater salad. Thus, I consider myself a Duke's expert -- and then some. Believe me when I say (and I say it a lot):

Duke's ... is ... the ... best ... mayo ... ever! And it's Southern-made, to boot!


Duke's mayo is manufactured by C.F. Sauer. C.F. Sauer also turns out a mayo under the "Sauer's" label. My favorite local grocery store - Compton's Foodland - recently starting stocking Sauer's. I picked up a jar of both over the weekend and did a blind taste test, which entailed my eating a single slice of white bread slathered in Duke's and another slathered in Sauer's.

Wanna know what the difference is, tasting-wise, between Duke's mayo and Sauer's mayo? I couldn't tell you because they're both equally tasty to me. The only discernable difference I can tell is: a big jar of Sauer's is about $1.50 cheaper than a big jar of Duke's. I'll take that deal ... especially since it won't make any of my hamburgers, turkey sandwiches or tomato sandwiches taste no different, indeed.

So, it looks like I have a new favorite mayonnaise. But if my new favorite mayo is made by the same company as my former favorite mayonnaise, and if it tastes the same, is it really a new favorite?

Look at Joltin' Django, gettin' all philosophical and stuff!

La moutarde ...


AOL has ranked the best mustards. Check it out the list here.

Here're Joltin' Django's "best" mustards ... using AOL categories, if you will:

Yellow: French's
Nothing else needs to be said.

Honey:
Joltin' Django don't eat honey mustard, if he can help it.

Brown/Deli: Kosciusko Beer Mustard
You can really taste the beer!

Dijon: Maille Dijon Originale
I agree with AOL on this one.

Hot: Colman's
Colman's is to hot mustard what Heinz is to ketchup ... tain't no substitute.

Next to hot sauce, mustard is my favorite condiment. You could put mustard on an old boot and it'd taste pretty good to me. Put mustard and hot sauce on it, and it'd be a satisfying meal. Indeed.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Gone fishin'

Joltin' Django is participating in some leisurely -- and some not-so-leisurely -- activities in West Tennessee this weekend. When he comes back, on Monday, he's gonna have a new mayonnaise to tell you about.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Shana tova! (Happy New Year!)


Rosh Hashanah officially begins next Monday at sundown. "What's Rosh Hashanah?" you ask? Well, it's the beginning of the High Holy Days of the Jewish calendar, when Jews traditionally celebrate the New Year.

Here's a recipe for the occasion, courtesy of the Philadelphia Inquirer:

Wine-Braised Chicken

Ingredients

12 bone-in chicken thighs
Salt and pepper to taste
6 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 750 ml bottle full-bodied red wine
3 medium carrots, roughly chopped
2 medium onions, roughlychopped
4 stalks celery, roughly chopped
4 cloves garlic, smashed
3 cups chicken stock
3 sprigs fresh thyme
1 bunch parsley stems, plus 4 tablespoons finely chopped parsley
10 ounces pearl onions
10 ounces white mushrooms,cleaned and halved
8 tablespoons butter
4 tablespoons flour
1 pound egg noodles

Directions

Season chicken liberally with salt and pepper.

Heat 2 tablespoons oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Sear chicken in two batches, 2 to 3 minutes per side, or until golden brown. Transfer to plate and set aside. 3. Add wine to empty skillet and cook, scraping the bottom of the pan to loosen any browned bits of chicken, about 10 minutes, or until wine is reduced by half.

While wine is reducing, heat 2 tablespoons oil in a heavy-bottomed stockpot over medium-high heat. Add carrots, onions, celery and garlic and cook 6 to 8 minutes, or until softened and beginning to brown. Add chicken, reduced wine, chicken stock, thyme and parsley stems, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook about 40 minutes, or until chicken is tender and cooked through. Remove chicken and place on a baking sheet to cool.

When chicken is cool enough to handle, remove and discard the skin.

Strain the cooking liquid into a medium bowl and discard the solids (but keep the pot, you'll need it again). Let the broth sit, undisturbed, so the fat rises to the top.

Heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add pearl onions and cook 5 minutes, or until just beginning to brown. Add 2 tablespoons butter and, when melted, add the mushrooms. Cook 10 to 12 minutes, or until mushrooms and onions are browned and cooked through. Season to taste with salt and pepper and sprinkle with 2 tablespoons parsley.

Using a ladle, remove and discard most of the fat that has risen to the top of the broth (it's OK if some remains).

Melt 4 tablespoons butter in the original stockpot over medium high heat. Add the flour and cook, stirring constantly, 1 to 2 minutes, or until mixture is browned. Add defatted broth and bring to a boil. Add chicken and mushroom mixture and return to a boil. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Remove from heat and cool to room temperature, then cover and refrigerate until ready to serve.

When ready to serve, bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Cook noodles according to package directions. Drain and toss with remaining 2 tablespoons butter and 2 tablespoons parsley. While the noodles are cooking, reheat the chicken until heated through. Serve over noodles.

September is National Tortilla Month

You had to know this was gonna happen:

"According to the Tortilla Industry Association, the sale of tortillas is poised to outpace the sale of sandwich bread for the first time in United States history, with sales projected to cross the $6 billion dollar mark."

You know, I don't think a thick slice of Fischer's bologna would taste very good on a tortilla ...

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Wrap it up, I'll take it


I've told AMGE readers many times that Publix is my favorite supermarket. I now have another reason to like the place, which you see in the picture above.

I had to stop at Publix yesterday to pick up a few things. As I was passing the deli, I saw some turkey and roast beef wraps that looked mighty fine, I tell you what. Since I hadn't had lunch yet, I quickly grabbed me a turkey wrap and never looked back.

What you see in that picture is a Publix wrap with Boar's Head turkey, marinated vegitables (onions, peppers, tomatoes, mushrooms), green leaf lettuce, and feta cheese. Oh, and a Boar's Head pickle.

My turkey wrap looked so good, I tore into it in the car. I ate half of it then and saved the rest for dinner. Rest assured, the second half of that wrap got a good dousing of hot sauce (Tabasco® chipotle pepper sauce) before I took a bite. When I did take a bite, I remarked, to no one in particular, "Damn, that's good!"

If you're ever at Publix, and you're hungry, I encourage you to try a Boar's Head turkey wrap.

Fantasy competative eating?

I've spent a lot of time participating in fantasy baseball and hockey leagues over the years. I hope someone kicks me in the arse if I ever get involved in this:

"Ready to put your bragging rights on the line for your favorite competitive eater?

"Then create your own Fantasy League or join one and track your team as they work their way through the KSO Qualifying tour and then go for the glory at the Krystal Square Off V World Hamburger Eating Championship on September 28 in Chattanooga."

Monday, September 22, 2008

I done told you about ...


Last month, I told AMGE readers how much I enjoyed my free McDonald's Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. Well, I took a neighbor to the airport early this morning. He asked me to hit McDonald's drive-through on the way, and I happily obliged. He got him a couple of ham and biscuits, and he got me a Southern Style chicken and biscuit.

It had been years since I'd had any kind of biscuit from McDonald's. I already knew I liked the Southern-style chicken on McDonald's chicken sammich, now I know that I like their biscuits even more. I don't know it for a fact, but I'd be willing to bet that McDonald's uses lard in its biscuits. How else to explain the flakiness and the rich flavor?

Next time you want something quick and gooood for breakfast (apologies to Andy Griffith), go get you a Southern Style Chicken Biscuit from McDonald's. Tell 'em Jolitin' Django sent you.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Regardez! Mes haricots verts


My favorite way to eat green beans is like how my Granny Ruby cooked 'em: with some bacon grease and a little more bacon grease. Whenever I'm making something fancy for dinner, however, I make 'em a little different. Like this:

Joltin' Django's Special-Sporty Green Beans

Ingredients

1 lb fresh green beans
1 16 ounce can stewed tomatoes
2 large garlic cloves, sliced
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup red wine
Red pepper flakes

Directions

Snap stems from green beans. Place beans in a pot and cover with water. Bring to a boil and blanch for 6-8 minutes. Strain beans and place in a bowl of ice water (this will stop the cooking process and ensure crisp beans).

In a large non-stick skillet, heat olive oil to medium. Sauté garlic for 1 minute. Strain beans and add to skillet, stirring to ensure beans are well coated with olive oil. Add tomatoes, wine, and red pepper flakes. Lower heat to medium-low and allow sauce to thicken (8-10 minutes).

My green beans were a perfect accompaniment to the grilled pork tenderloin I grilled this evening. You should've been here.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Joltin' Django cooks pub-style


I had some cod fillets in my freezer that needed to be thawed and cooked. After thawing 'em, I went to Publix to pick up some authentic British chip-shop batter. I did indeed get me some batter, but I also got some imported malt vinegar, some chip-shop curry sauce, and a four-pack of Samuel Smith's pale ale.

When I got home, I made some fresh hush puppies and fried my fish. Once I got to frying I realized that I had too much food. I had to call my next-door neighbor to come over to help put a dent in what I'd cooked. (What you see in the pic above are the leftovers!)

I'd never had Colman's curry sauce prior to tonight. I'm now a confirmed fan. I don't think I took a bite of anything ce soir that didn't have a good-sized dollop of curry sauce on it. I had a little left over, and I'm already planning to make me some toast in the morning and finish it off. Yeah ... I liked it that much!

Sometimes, you gotta have 25!

From the September 22 Sports Illustrated:

Steve Cullen Chief Superintendent of the New South Wales, Australia, police, on fans at an auto race there being allowed to carry in no more than a case of beer:

"Anyone who needs to drink more than 24 cans of beer in a day to have a good time is not welcome."


I've never been to the Daytona 500. No, wait, let me rephrase that: I've never had a desire to go to the Daytona 500. If patrons could tote 24 beers into that sporting event, however, I might just have to make an appearance along with my digital camera. I'm sure it'd be a scene, man!

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Amo la mozzarella!

Man, there ain't many things I like better than quality mozzarella cheese. If you ever want to serve an appetizer that will impress the hell out of your guests, try this:

Top 8-10 baguette slices with a quarter-inch slice of fresh mozzarella. Put 'em in an oven and bake until the cheese begins to bubble and just turn brown. Just as soon as the baguette/mozzarella slices come out of the oven, top each with a slice of fresh tomato. Drizzle with top-end olive oil and serve. Stand back and wait for folks to say, "This is really good!"

That said, there's a mozzarella bar opening in NYC. I'm jealous ...

"OBIKÀ is how Neapolitans say 'here it is.'

"Obikà will open on Sept. 22 in the sculpture garden of 590 Madison Avenue, the former I.B.M. building. ...

"After more than a year of construction and red tape, the latest installment of Obikà, which opened its first mozzarella bar in Rome four years ago, will open on Sept. 22 in the sculpture garden of 590 Madison Avenue, the former I.B.M. building, between 56th and 57th Streets. ...

"Obikà focuses on the most prized mozzarella in Italy, large balls of mozzarella di bufala, made from water buffalo milk. Obikà New York will offer primarily two types of mozzarella di bufala, one a sweet, delicate mozzarella from Paestum in the Campania region of Italy, with a Protected Designation of Origin designation, that will be shipped to New York three times a week, and a mild, creamy American one from Bufala di Vermont. (Long before the recent mozzarella contamination scare that has plagued farms around Naples, Obika began testing its mozzarellas monthly for bacteria and toxins.)

"The cheese will be served with accompaniments such as Sardinian bottarga, mortadella with pistachios, Tuscan porchetta and fig marmalade. Salads, antipasti, pastas, desserts, coffees and a large selection of Italian wines from small Italian producers will also be available."

Yahoo for Yazoo!


If you've never had a Yazoo beer, you're missin' out. If you've never had a Yazoo on tap, you're really missin' out. The Nashville City Paper has a real nice profile of Yazoo Brewing Company. Check it out here.

I had a little something to say about Yazoo several months back. Check this out:

My hockey game-attendin' pal, Joe, shamed me into tellin' this story 'bout our recent trip to Piranha's Bar & Grill:

I tried to order a Yazoo draft beer by saying: "Gimme a Yahoo." When the Piranha's bartender -- a rather comely gal, you should know -- asked for clarification, I again asked for a "Yahoo." Ms. Bartender then gave me a most cross-eyed/you're a dumbass look. Goodness!

When I attempted to explain that my Yazoo/Yahoo faux pas was a result of my having read about Yahoo!'s maybe-merger with Microsoft in the
WSJ, Ms. Piranha's Bartender seemed most uninterested. I started to say something tacky ("Can you even spell 'Wall Street Journal?'"), but I - wisely - decided to just let it go.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ba-ba-ba Beef Stew!


When I saw in the paper this morning that a cold front will soon reach Nashville, I got a craving for a big pot of beef stew. If memory serves, the last time I made beef stew was last December. Whenever it was, I was thinking about the stuff all day; and I got to work as soon as I got home this afternoon.

Beef stew, I ain't afraid to say, is a specialty of mine. My recipe is quite simple, and here's how I do it:

Joltin' Django's Beef Stew

Ingredients

2 lbs beef stew meat
2 large garlic cloves, finely chopped
1 medium white onion, large-diced
4 large carrots, peeled and diced
4 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into 1-inch cubes
1 4-ounce jar Green Giant mushrooms (sliced or whole)
2 tablespoons Cavender's Greek Seasoning
1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 cup flour
1/4 cup olive oil
salt and pepper

Directions


Cut stew meat into 1/4-inch cubes. Season with salt and pepper. Heat a heavy pot to medium. Brown meat in olive oil, in two batches. Add flour to oil and juices and stir for 4-5 minutes to make a roux.

Add garlic, onion, carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, Greek seasoning and cayenne to pot. Cover with water and stir. Bring to a boil and lower heat to a slow, slow simmer. Cook for 90 minutes. Add additional salt and pepper, if needed, before serving.

Recommended hot sauce for this dish: Regular or green Tabasco®.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Un grand marché


One of my favorite grocery stores in Nashville is Osborne's Bi-Rite on the corner of Antioch Pike and Nolensville Road. I lived about a quarter-mile from Osborne's for some eight years. On average, I reckon, I was in that grocery store about three times a week.

"What's so great about Osborne's?" you ask. Well, it's a small-town grocery right smack in the middle of an urban - a very urban - part of Nashville. There's a high-rise apartment building for retired folks right across the street from Osborne's. Walk through the store and you'll quickly see that these folks are catered to in a big way -- a big ol' good way. For example:

You can buy single fresh-cut chicken breasts and pork chops at Osbourne's. You can buy a package of men's handkerchiefs at Osborne's! You can buy those old-timey razors and razor blades at Osborne's (you know, the kind that you have to twist the top to insert the blade). Osborne's store-brand products are picked over more than name-brand products. Close your eyes for a bit while perusing these items and you'll swear that you're in a grocery store in Union City, Fayetteville, or Maynardville.

One of my favorite trips to Osborne's took place about a month before I moved from that area. I'd been out of town on business, and there was literally nothing to eat in the house when I returned home. I went to Osborne's and bought a package of Frosty Morn hot dogs ($.99), a package of Bi-Rite buns ($.99), and a bag of Frito-Lay rippled chips ($.99). I ate three hot dogs, and half a bag of chips, and it was one of the best meals I ever had ... and for just a little over three bucks.


That said, Osborne's Bi-Rite -- as well as other Bi-Rite and Foodtown grocery stores in the Nashville area -- often have Five-for-$19.99 sales. That is, you can get five packages of fresh-cut meat for 20 bucks. The very first time that I ever attempted to cook country pork ribs, I got my meat from Osborne's. And what good meat it was. (Which probably explains why slow-cooked country ribs quickly became one of my favorite things to eat.) The last time I made country ribs - 'bout two weeks ago - I got my ribs from Osborne's. And what good ribs they were. (If you read this blog regular-like, you seen 'em).

The area around Osbourne's has changed so much since I moved from that area. I know that I'm going to drive into that parking lot one of these days and see a Mercado Gigante sign. When that day inevitably comes, I'm going to be very sad. And I'll immediately start pining for 99-cent Frosty Morn hot dogs, 99-cent Frito-Lay potato chips, and two-sided razor blades on display next to the National Enquirer and US magazine.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Wanna get skinny? Stop thinkin' about it!

Bad news for bookworms:

"The obesity epidemic in the U.S. has been well documented, but could it be caused, at least in part, by thinking? There's a new study out that indicates thinking could contribute to an expanding waistline.

"Researchers split participants into three groups: one group just rested, one had to read, the last one had to complete mental tests on a computer. Then all the participants were allowed to eat whatever they wanted to. Even though they only used about three more calories, the groups who were using their brains ate 200 (the readers) and 250 (the computer test takers) more calories. Through extensive blood sample-taking (before, during, and after the experiment), the researchers found wide variations in blood glucose levels from different phases of the experiment.

"They concluded that 'the body reacts to these fluctuations by demanding food to restore glucose, a sugar that is the brain's fuel. Glucose is converted by the body from carbohydrates and is supplied to the brain via the bloodstream. The brain cannot make glucose and so needs a constant supply. Brain cells need twice as much energy as other cells in the body.'

"They cautioned that people who have intellectually demanding jobs should keep this in mind when they're choosing what and how much to eat. I think we all need to keep this in mind, as well as get out of the office to go for a walk."

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Joltin' Django's White Bean Chicken Chili


White bean chicken chili is becoming one of my specialties. I made a pot last night ... and here's how I did it:

Joltin' Django's White Bean Chicken Chili

Ingredients

1 lb navy beans
1 large white onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 jalapeno peppers, seeded & diced
6 cups cooked chicken, diced
1 16 ounce can diced tomatoes, drained
1 tablespoon cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Soak beans for 6-8 hours. Drain and rinse with cold water. Place beans, onions, garlic, peppers, salt and pepper in a stock pot and cover with water. Simmer for 2 hours, stirring frequently (add water when needed to keep beans covered).

Add chicken, spices, and tomatoes and simmer for 20-25 minutes.

Garnish with sour cream, fresh chopped cilantro, and cornbread.

Recommended hot sauce for this dish: Valentina Extra Hot Salsa Picante.

Reckon this is how Jim Ed Brown does it?

So, you got a beer that needs its top popped but you don't have an opener. Do you have a dollar bill? If you do, you're in luck:




Open Beer With One Dollar Bill. College SURVIVAL 101 - video powered by Metacafe

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese ...


Take this Morgan Spurlock:

"A 54-year-old man says his obsessive-compulsive disorder drove him to eat 23,000 Big Macs in 36 years. Fifty-four-year-old Don Gorske says he hit the milestone last month, continuing a pleasurable obsession that began May 17, 1972 when he got his first car.

"Gorske has kept every burger receipt in a box. He says he was always fascinated with numbers, and watching McDonald's track its number of customers motivated him to track his own consumption.

"The only day he skipped a Big Mac was the day his mother died, to respect her request.

"The correctional-institution employee says he doesn't care when people call his Big Mac obsession crazy. He says he's in love with the burgers, which are the highlights of his days."

You'd think that Mr. Gorske is a big, fat tub, right? Wrong. He's a tall feller who looks like he's not carrying a single extra pound. Kinda kicks Spurlock's "super size" theory right in the groin, n'est-ce pas?

Monday, September 08, 2008

Forwarded by an admiring AMGE reader ...


'Bout a year ago, I posted the recipe for my patented macaroni and cheese. Tonight, I tried a new mac 'n' cheese recipe, which was forwarded by an admiring AMGE reader. It was pretty damn good.

You can see a pic of the finished product above. Now, here's the recipe:

KG's Macaroni and Cheese

Ingredients

6 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
4 cups milk, warm
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon freshly ground black pepper
3 cups cheddar cheese, shredded
1 lb elbow noodles, well-cooked

Directions

Heat oven to 350°F

Melt 6 tablespoons butter in a large saucepot over medium heat. Add flour and cook, stirring, for 1 minute. Whisk in the warmed milk and bring to a boil, continue to whisk constantly. The mixture will thicken as the heat increases. Continue to stir while adding the cheese and pepper.

Pour the cheese sauce over the noodles and add to a casserole dish. Bake for 25-30 minutes.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Thanks, but no thanks


JM read my Ron's-has-closed lament, and she sent me an e-mail urging me to try H&T's Homecooking (which is located on Murfreesboro Road near Una-Antioch Pike).

I published a short piece about H&T's just over a year ago. After stopping there on my way home from work, I said this:

I ... stop[ped] at H&T's ... for some take-out. As soon as I looked at the menu, I remembered why I'd made only one trip to H&T's since it opened in 2005.

Don't get me wrong, H&T's has some pretty tasty grub. Tonight I had fried chicken, pinto beans, turnip greens and corn bread. The fried chicken had a peppery crust and was very juicy; the pinto beans rested in just enough soup, and had big chunks of ham in 'em; the turnip greens were expertly seasoned (ham hock, salt and pepper) and tender; and the cornbread, while a tad dry, had a rich buttermilk 'n' cornmeal flavor.

That said, H&T's features the highest prices, and smallest portions, of any meat-and three I've yet encountered in and 'round Nashville. When it comes to meat-and three restaurants, that's strike one, two, AND three as far as I'm concerned. $8 for a meat and two vegetables, and no drink, is way too pricey ... especially when you're still hungry after you've eaten your eight-dollar meal!


I've eaten H&T's food since that was first published. I went to a political get-together earlier in the summer, and the food had been provided by H&T's. I had two pieces of fried chicken (breast and wing), both of which were so hard I actually feared that I might crack a tooth. Not only did the episode ensure that I will never say "Food always tastes good when it's free" again, it also put to rest any notion that I might give H&T's another chance someday.

Thanks for the suggestion, JM, and thanks for reading. Just know that I won't be going to H&T's anytime soon -- no, hell, I won't be going to H&T's, period.

Friday, September 05, 2008

Bottled water is for suckas

"I ain't gonna pay a dollar for a bottle of something that's not fermented or carbonated."

-- Joltin' Django

I've always reserved special scorn for people who purchase bottled water. Mainly 'cause bottled water costs about 5 cents per ounce, while gasoline costs about 2-3 cents per ounce. You don't have to be a math whiz to know that you're getting screwed when you buy a bottle of something that you can get for free in virtually every public building, and a lot of private buildings, across this great land.

That said, I can't help but laugh when I see stories like this:

"[S]even very famous chefs and sommeliers from Michelin-starred restaurants in London did a blind tasting of ten different waters from various rivers across England. Since they are chefs, they have a very sophisticated palate. They used the lexicon of wine-tasting to describe the different waters as 'complex,' 'having a floral note,' having 'good character' and being “honest and unpretentious. The water from the Severn Trent taps was 'a mountain stream of freshness' (it came first) and that from Anglia was “pure and palatable” (it was second).

"The organizers popped in a bottle of mineral water (no brand mentioned) and low and behold; it came in eighth in the list of ten."

Ron's RIP


Last month, I published a lament for some of the restaurants that've closed in Nashville over the past few years. Well, another eatin' place can now be added to the list. Ron's BBQ & Fish has closed.

I just talked about Ron's and the great meatloaf served there. Here's what I said:

While it's not as good as my late Granny Ruby's meatloaf, Ron's meatloaf gets real close. It is expertly seasoned and filled with chopped onions. Some restaurants go overboard slathering their meatloaf in tomato sauce or ketchup, but not Ron's. Ron puts just enough tomato sauce atop his meatloaf to serve as a slightly spicy garnishment; and for that he is to be commended.

Ron's BBQ & Fish served the best soul food in Priest Lake/Antioch. And now it's closed. Perhaps Joltin' Django should gather his Granny's recipes and start a restaurant ...

Thursday, September 04, 2008

My new favorite bologna


Coming back from West Tennessee last weekend, I stopped at a little market near Dickson. I passed a little display therein featuring packages of Fischer's thick-cut bologna for $1.49. It was a deal I simply could not pass up.

When it comes to bologna, I have always been a Bryan man. No more. Fischer's bologna has a flavor vastly superior to any packaged bologna I've ever had. It's so good, in fact, that I've not put a single drop of any condiment on the three Fischer's bologna sandwiches I've had since Sunday. That's sayin' something, indeed.

I still plan on eating Bryan's corn dogs and sliced turkey (it is the Flavor of the South, after all). But as far as bologna is concerned, I am now a Fischer's Man. So there.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

There's lion-kabobs, lion creole, lion gumbo. There's pineapple lion, lemon lion ...

This is why I hate vegetarians ...

Thanks to a coup by local vegetarians, the king of the jungle will be stepping down from his place on the menu of the South Philadelphia Tap Room.

After a six-week reign, SPTR chef Michael Zulli has decided to stop dishing up lion after receiving numerous letters critical of his decision to serve feline. "Why do we need to eat lion?" says Christine Stover, one of the chef's critics. "It seems like such a ridiculous indulgence."

This comes despite the fact that the restaurant procures the meat from a federally licensed farm in Illinois that raises the African cats for human consumption.

Zulli plans to continue serving other exotic meats including ostrich, boar and bear. "I'm not doing game as a gimmick," he maintains. "I like exposing people to ingredients and flavors that are interesting and unique."


Let's see: It's okay to serve boar, but it ain't okay to serve lion? Why is that? 'Cause no wild boar was the star of a Disney flick called The Wild Boar King, that's why.

Don't think for a minute that I wouldn't try me a plate o' lion meat (vegetarian sentiments be damned). I wouldn't put no hot sauce on it, neither.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Country ribs are the best ribs!

I freakin' love country-style pork ribs. Not only do I love 'em, but country ribs are one of my culinary specialities.

Tonight, me and my next door neighbor had a two-yard Labor Day cookout. He made burgers and hot dogs; I made country ribs. He and his don't like hot stuff as much as me and mine, so ...

The first pan o' ribs I made, I simply dusted the ribs with salt and pepper, and then I poured a cup of Sauer's BBQ sauce on 'em. I put a tight aluminum foil lid on the pan, and them ribs went into an oven heated to 290 degrees:


Next, I covered another half-dozen country ribs with Sauer's, Howton Farms extra-hot BBQ sauce, and a half-cup of Trappey's jalapeño pepper slices. This pan also went into the oven that'd been heated to 290 degrees:


What came out of my oven were ribs so tender, they were literally falling off the bone when I lifted 'em from the pan. Here're a couple of the "hot" ribs:


Boy howdy, them ribs was good!

If you'd like my step-by-step recipe for country ribs, drop me an e-mail: NighSeenCreeder@aol.com.