Damn them squirrels! (redux)

As is my usual yearly routine, I planted a half-dozen tomato plants back in the spring. Yesterday, I noticed that I had two big tomatoes that were starting to turn -- that is, they were turning red and were about a week away from achieving true vine-ripened status. Oh ... I can't tell you how excited I was when I seen 'em.

This morning, I went out to mow the yard 'bout 7 a.m. Before I started to mow, however, I decided to give my mater plants a drink. Man, my heart sank when I seen my two big, almost-ripe maters. They'd been mauled by some kind o' critter ... most likely one of the squirrels I've been seeing 'round my bird feeder as of late. Oh, I was mad.

Now that I think about it, one of the very first AMGE posts dealt with squirrels and tomatoes. Please to enjoy this true AMGE classic:


There are few things in this world I like more than homegrown tomatoes. I like 'em so much that I've been putting out a dozen tomato plants for the past, oh, ten years or so.

This year, for the first time since I started growing my own tomatoes, I've had a problem with squirrels eating the fruits of my labor, literally. When I first noticed that I had a lower yield, if you will, than in years past, I thought it might have something to do with the drought we've been experiencing. Thus, I started a very systematic watering program lest late summer come and, bam, no tomatoes.

One morning as I was leaving for work, I spied a squirrel on top of my storage shed munching on what looked like a grape. As I opened the gate to enter my back yard, the squirrel took off and what he'd been eating rolled off the roof of my shed. It was one of my damned tomatoes!

My tomato plants are tied to metal stakes. A little over a month ago, I started spraying the stakes with Pam (and I trimmed the low-hanging vines off my plants). The amount of half-eaten tomatoes in my yard declined precipitously, so I assumed that I'd taken care of my squirrel problem. Of course, trying to stop a squirrel from eating something that he's hell-bent on eating is akin to trying to stop water from running downhill (just ask anyone who has bird-feeders). This morning, I learned that my squirrel problem is far from solved.

As I was getting into my car this morning, I happened to glance up at the security light in my backyard ... and this is what I saw:


That's a big tomato. Sitting on top of a light pole. 25 feet in the air.

Damn them squirrels!