At-home doughnuts? No thanks

I do love me a good doughnut -- or is it donut?

I don't love 'em like Homer Simpson loves 'em, but there ain't many things I like better in the a.m. than a maple-glazed from the local Dunkin' Donuts. (There's yer "donut" ...!)

Today's Los Angeles Times tells us that makin' doughnuts at home is easy as snap. Check it:

There's something magical about the doughnut. You don't have to be Homer Simpson to swoon when you're greeted with all those bright colors and sparkly decorations in a doughnut shop display case. But no matter how wonderful they may appear, it's hard to find a store-bought doughnut that compares with homemade.

And believe it or not, they're really not hard to make. You can whip up a batch of cake doughnuts in about an hour. Put together a batch of yeast-raised the night before, and all you have to do is fry them the next morning. Making breakfast for someone special? Try a batch of French crullers, their thin, golden crusts yielding to the most delicate, lightly flavored interiors.

Look, I'm all for home-cooking. But why in God's name would you go to all the trouble and expense to make doughnuts at home when you can just get in your car and head to the local Dunkin' Donuts or Krispy Kreme? Even if you don't live near a Dunkin' or Krispy, you probably live near a Wal-Mart. And, I can tell you, Wal-Mart's doughnuts are pretty damn good (the maple-glazed are AAA to Dunkin's Major League).

Not unlike Ms. Lucy, I'm a messy cook. I can only imagine what my kitchen would look like if'n I whipped up a batch of doughnuts ... and it wouldn't be pretty.